The title of this post probably conjures images of a People magazine cover of a handsome man with dreamy eyes and chiseled abs. Someone successful in the world’s eyes, and fawned over by women everywhere. Based on movies, popular novels, and TV shows like The Bachelor, we are programmed to think that a buff body and the ability to be a player with the ladies are desirable traits. But is that what sexy really is? Men, did you ever wonder what you can do to be considered sexier? Well, guys, this post is for you.
I realize that I can’t speak for all women, but I can tell you honestly from my own perspective, and one that is shared by many drop dead gorgeous and amazing women I call friends, that while ripped muscles may be a fleeting distraction, they are hollow and soulless.
You know what women of character, the real marriage material girls out there are looking for…. men of honor. Honor is all but dead in our society, but there was once a time when a man was defined by his integrity. He’d rather die than lose his honor. He’d fight for his honor, and the honor of others. Perhaps this is why women are so drawn to period films that depict courageous men of great merit and worth. Men like William Wallace in Braveheart who rallied a nation of men to fight for the honor of their wives, and their claim to their homeland. Men like Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, who although they have high social standing and many women who desire them, refuse to cheapen themselves or others by taking advantage of their position. Men who live above reproach, who live out purity, honesty, and bold faith. Men who lead other men toward greater integrity. Men who find their identity and strength on their knees before an Almighty God. Now that is sexy!
I am blessed to know a handful of men that exemplify what it means to live with honor and integrity, and you know what stands out about my reaction to these men? I respect them. These are the men I want my son spending time with as he grows. These are the men I want to see in leadership. This is the only type of man I would consider marrying and gladly submit to as he leads our family.
I have heard a lot of talk lately about love and respect being the key aspects of a successful relationship between a man and a woman. There are books explaining how the thing women need the most is love, and the thing men need the most is respect. Being respected is so important and necessary to a man, that it is even more important than love. In fact, a wife most truly displays her love for her husband by respecting him. Interesting then that a natural reaction toward men of great integrity is to respect them.
I know many men who are physically attractive, funny, successful in their careers, and in general would be considered “good” people. However, they also spend their nights out chasing tail at bars, they go to strip clubs, they look at porn, they read magazines that objectify women, or they date girls they have no intention of marrying because they meet their immediate physical needs. Are these guys fun to be around? Yes. Do I consider some men that fit this description to be my friends. Sure. But here’s the below the belt punch. Do I respect them? No. Sorry, it’s the truth, I don’t. Men like this aren’t real men. They’re boys. They’re immature adolescents in mature bodies. They live by impulse and let their desires control them. And sadly, they are the societal norm.
Now on the other hand, do I know men that struggle with addiction to pornography or other entrapments that I do respect. Yes. Want to know the difference? The men who earn their respect back are the ones who are on their knees fighting for their integrity. They are the ones who are open about their struggles and actually stand up to lead other men away from these traps. They are transparent, and they are willing to be changed and used by God. They have been redeemed.
Men, it’s time to man up! Some people cringe at this statement thinking that it conveys that men shouldn’t cry or show emotion. In actuality, a real man isn’t afraid to show true compassion, or to grieve, or to love deeply. “Man up” isn’t a call to put on a hard face, it’s a call back to honor, integrity, and true leadership. It’s a call to courage and faith, self-control and dignity.
Men, you may think that your decisions today don’t matter. That what you look at on the computer, or what you do behind closed doors doesn’t impact your future, your family, or the world. But that’s a lie. We need you! We need you to be men worthy of a great calling. We need leaders we can respect to lead our families and our communities. On a personal level to you, your choices do impact the type of woman you’ll be able to attract if you’re not already married. If you’re married, your decisions directly impact the health and stability of your marriage and your family.
Men, do you want to be sexy? Man up! Want to be respected? Man up! It’s time for honor to make a come back!